Shower Gel
 
Wash away the chaos. Or at least pretend you did.
 
FRAGRANCE:
SLA Citrus & Churn Musk
Subtle notes of urgency, silence, and re-opened tickets.
 
USE CASE:
To cleanse the residue of another day spent managing chaos instead of leading strategy.
 
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE:
Step in. Breathe deeply. Realize macros are not a strategy.
Apply generously after being looped into your 14th escalation today.
Do not rinse until your ticket backlog is under 30.
 
WARNING:
⚠️ Will not resolve anything
⚠️ For external use only—internal healing comes with AI Agents
⚠️ May cause recurring thoughts of: “There has to be a better way”