Shampoo
With Auto-Escalation Detox + Manual Routing Defense Complex™
Gently clarifies overcomplicated systems without stripping away denial.
FOR:
- Dry, damaged support systems.
- Split-agent alignment.
- Dull brand tone.
BENEFITS:
- Gently removes ticket residue
- Reduces macro overuse
- Restores emotional shine
- Infused with Burnout Shield™
- Leaves agents soft, yet empowered
FEATURED INGREDIENTS:
Crushed KPIs
Fragmented workflow essence
Hallucinated refund extract
Hydrating NPS balm
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE:
Lather after QBR panic
Rinse while wondering why your chatbot doesn’t understand shipping issues
Repeat until someone recommends Zowie
FORMULA:
- Sulfate-free
- Resolution-free
- Accountability-free
- But packed with the illusion of progress
WARNING:
⚠️ For external use only.
⚠️ Does not remove hallucinations or Jira-based trauma.
⚠️ Results may vary based on executive buy-in.
Backlog Build-up Removal Shampoo
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