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Shampoo

 

With Auto-Escalation Detox + Manual Routing Defense Complex™

 

Gently clarifies overcomplicated systems without stripping away denial.

 

FOR:

  • Dry, damaged support systems.
  • Split-agent alignment.
  • Dull brand tone.

 

BENEFITS:

  • Gently removes ticket residue
  • Reduces macro overuse
  • Restores emotional shine
  • Infused with Burnout Shield™
  • Leaves agents soft, yet empowered

 

FEATURED INGREDIENTS:

  • Crushed KPIs

  • Fragmented workflow essence

  • Hallucinated refund extract

  • Hydrating NPS balm

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE:

  1. Lather after QBR panic

  2. Rinse while wondering why your chatbot doesn’t understand shipping issues

  3. Repeat until someone recommends Zowie
     

FORMULA:

  • Sulfate-free
  • Resolution-free
  • Accountability-free
  • But packed with the illusion of progress


WARNING:
⚠️ For external use only.
⚠️ Does not remove hallucinations or Jira-based trauma.
⚠️ Results may vary based on executive buy-in.

Backlog Build-up Removal Shampoo

11,99$Price
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